The Defendants’ Comedy Show: Courtroom Edition

Morris Patrick III
Aug 27
2 min read

Updated: Sep 7

The Court’s latest order (Dkt. 305) just added another episode to the defendants’ never-ending blooper reel.

Court to Defendants: Put Up or Shut Up

The judge told the defendants that if they really believe I violated the protective order, they have to prove it. Not with gossip, not with whining, but with actual evidence and links by September 5. If they can’t, the issue is gone.

Translation: “Stop crying wolf unless you can point to the wolf.”

While I stay in compliance, the defendants are scrambling around like kids caught without their homework. The Court literally checked my website and found nothing. Imagine that: a federal judge doing their own “fact-check” while the defendants sit around sweating.

Satirical Twist: The “Confession Order”

If you read between the lines, this order is basically the Court saying: “Okay defendants, write down exactly what you claim he did, with proof, or keep quiet.”

So let’s imagine their “Confession Report” would look like:

We accused Patrick without evidence.
We tried to win by silence (spoiler: it failed).
We wasted judicial resources with imaginary monsters under the bed.
We lost track of sealed vs. unsealed documents and needed the judge to babysit us.

It’s like the judge just gave them detention slips and told them: “Bring back a real excuse note, signed by reality itself.”